The Apprentice analysed...

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  • "I can't believe you just fired me! That's like so unfair! I ain't never done nuffin!"

    The exit of the Matt Lucas lookalike was a sad day for comedy; it would have been so much funnier if he'd completed the ensemble by dressing up as his twin sister Vicky - he'd probably have sold more cards.

    What was eerie was his eyes that looked so much bluer in the monologues than in the filming itself. The backbiting backdrop highlights the real sadness underpinning the noughties' workplace paradigm - the task-centred, not-thinking-things-through mentality that focusses minds on looking for something to do rather than looking for something that needs to be done. Vicky Pollard doppleganger-dude may have done more for improving business management models than any of the "how to" tripe novellas on greasey pole-climbers library shelves as he showed with unintentional flair why doing it his way doesn't get the job done. If he'd been working for the Bank of England he'd have got a 65% bonus for a cock-up of this scale (and probably a knighthood).

    Alan (oops Sir Alan) Sugar is an outsider not because he is out of touch with the modern world but because he is the only one who has not let his world go off the rails like everyone else has. Let he/she that is without sin among the partners/directors of this and other professions cast the first stone!

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  • Chickens and other things

    I particularly liked Margaret's comment - "well, Edinburgh's not what it once was" in response to Sir Alan's comment that Michael ought to have known what a kosher chicken was having studied history and classics there.

    I don't want to cast doubt on Sir Alan's logic but perhaps Michael spent more time 'escorting' than studying. Given that none of the contestants seemed to know what kosher meant (nor really understand halal either) and what appeared to be a complete inability of any of them to speak French (cue various chicken impressions) are we really to believe these are the brightest business brains in Britain today as per the intro?

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  • Some observations

    Some observations:

    1. Julia Mingay - was that a deliberate pun "good Jewish boy Michael... was spared the chop".

    2. In relation to Clare, I'm not convinced your nickname the rottweiller is purely based on your character...

    3. I hope Jenny C enjoyed her 36th birthday present from Sir Alan... I know I did.

    4. Why does Alex keep contorting his mouth?

    5. Do you think Lee will ever 'nail' anything?

    6. What made Jenny C think she might have had to count the spikes on the cactus?

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