Ambling through Grays Inn last Monday, Tulkinghorn was horrified to see a half-naked junior barrister from Matrix Chambers kneeling barefooted on the grass wrapped in a dustbin liner while being pelted with wet sponges by a group of 150 primary school children. Around the corner he spied another gang of young imps jumping up and down and screaming on a bouncy castle that had been erected on the grass behind Matrix's building. Meanwhile, adults stood around feeding the children sugary snacks to fuel their wild behaviour. This was not all part of an anti-Matrix campaign organised by the set's detractors. Oh no, those fools at Matrix had actually invited said children round for tea and allowed them to run amok in Gray's Inn Walk attacking their juniors (but not their QCs, it is worth noting) with sponges. This was a children's activity day for St Albans Primary School around the corner, put on by Matrix as part of its pro bono community work with the children. Not only that, but the whole event was being covered by the local press. Tulkinghorn sincerely hopes that his attempt to rescue the soggy junior by grabbing the children's bucket of sponges and throwing it over the wall onto Theobalds Road in Holborn was not captured by the snapper from the Camden New Journal. 'Loony old lawyer ransacks barrister-school love-in' is not a story Tulkinghorn would like his honourable friends who reside in Gray's Inn to see.