Tail of whoa

Betting men at the bar be warned: if you are unfortunate enough to come up against Brick Court’s Bill Wood QC soon, watch out for him racing past you in the final furlong, particularly when the going is soft.

Wood has a new secret weapon hidden in his wig that could just give him the edge over courtroom opponents. The horserace-loving silk, Tulkinghorn can reveal, is blessed by the power of Arkle, three-time Cheltenham Gold Cup winner and an all-time great of the racetrack.

This power is contained in some of Arkle’s tail hair that recently came into his possession, and which Wood believes could add some steel to his courtroom performances.

Ede & Ravenscroft was not quite as impressed as Wood with his little piece of inspiration – the wigmakers refused to weave the hair into his wig as it was untreated. Unperturbed, the multitalented Wood took up the needle and thread and did it himself.

We hope for his sake the Lord Chancellor doesn’t decide to do away with wigs completely. He might end up losing by a nose.