Sipping the velvet

Tulkinghorn is often defending the volume he drinks to Mrs Tulkinghorn, but it’s not often he has to defend his choice of drink from the bar staff.

At Bonds on Threadneedle the other week, with that meatiest of US firms LeBoeuf Lamb Pork & Two Veg, Tulkinghorn bravely ordered a ‘Senorita’ from the cocktail menu (a raspberry vodka, Cointreau, lime juice, sugar cane syrup, apple juice and raspberry liqueur shaken into a sling glass, if you’re interested). The waiter promptly responded in a haughty tone: “That is a lesbian cocktail, sir.”

Up for something new, Tulkinghorn stuck to his order – and indeed recommends the drink. So enamoured with it was he that, upon arriving home, he slurred loudly: “I’ve had five lesbian senoritas tonight,” which resulted in a whole different round of explanations to Mrs Tulkinghorn.