Should that be an ironing board?

‘Diversity’ is a phrase Tulkinghorn hears often these days, indicating a willingness in the modern profession to welcome the unmarried, heathens, women and even Welshmen into English legal practice.

However, even in this rainbow age, Tulkinghorn was surprised to encounter a company solicitor recently who was not only a lady, but a ‘surfer’ too.

The lawyer, who cannot be named for dementia reasons, explained that she had recently returned from a trip to Brazil where she and her companions had had a thoroughly gnarly time catching waves, riding ‘tubes’ and engaging in ‘wipeouts’. Man.

(Tulkinghorn apologises for any misrepresentation, but he is not a Portuguese speaker.)

As Tulkinghorn struggled to interpret this foreign tongue, the lady (who had earlier been seen to indulge in intoxicating liquor despite the absence of a male chaperone) proceeded to demonstrate her surfing technique – torso turned, knees bent and arms outstretched – in front of assembled journalists, PRs and legal practitioners. Bodacious, Tulkinghorn concludes.