Running order

It’s all kicking off in the music world as the Law Rocks extravaganza draws near.

It’s all kicking off in the music world as the Law Rocks extravaganza draws near.

To put it bluntly, there is more than a whiff of scandal in the air. And it’s associated with a name that’s sadly becoming all-too familiar with the seemier side of this highly fraught competition, elevating tensions to a level not seen since Macca told John he was calling it a day.

“The big news is that the draw for the running order has been made and Kidby has managed to secure the premier spot of going on last,” claimsPaul Paling, lead guitarist with Nabarro entry, Music Matters. “Yes, there are mutterings. We were hoping it would all be in alphabetical order which would mean we’d be going on last. Yes, there is a whiff of scandal.”

Though Kidby, as in Lovells’ six-string ace Bob, may be being unfairly blamed for allegedly twisting the organisers’ arms to secure the prime last-on spot, there’s no doubt this rock ‘n’ roll business is all getting very messy. The odds of an onstage riot have been shortened by bookies nationwide.

More positively, though, the problematic backline situation has now been sorted out. Regular readers will be aware that the most contentious issue was which bass amp all six bands should use.

Now BLP’s four-stringed wonder David Battiscombe has popped down to a hiring company for probably the most expensive bass rig in the market.

The 575 watt Ashdown (the ABM-C410H-500 4×10” model with horn bass combo, in case you were wondering)takes two men to carry it down the stairs and is setting each band back £56.73.

Battiscombe, however, maintains this is excellent value for money.

“£57 per band is about a tenner per musician which equates to under two minutes of their chargeable time at a blended rate of £350 per hour allowing for different levels of PQE within the band,” he argues. “Bargain!”

And as for Kidby?

“Our view is that headlining is a dangerous slot,” adds Battiscombe. “Expectations will be MASSIVE. Any performance not involving self-harm, naked mudwrestling and bat decapitation will, frankly, be regarded as suburban.”

Meanwhile, the battle over the guitar amps has been won. While Paling made a good effort with his Mesa Boogie Lonestar Special, the perfect complement to his 1973 sunburst Les Paul (“the resemblance to Jimmy Page ends there”), the owner of the Carr Vincent has waltzed off with the prize for the flashiest amp.

And who might that be?

Bob Kidby.