Righting a writing wrong

Tulkinghorn’s scribes are really mixing it with the best these days.

Last week, Mrs Tulkinghorn was availing herself of the hospitality of one of her favourite firms at the Reform Club on Pall Mall. Mrs Tulkinghorn was rather giggly and nervous at dining amid such a spectacular explosion of Victorian splendour – all towering marble pillars and grand oil portraits of old judges and the like.

The meal was conducted in hushed tones, with Mrs Tulkinghorn taking notes surepticiously. But while engaged thus, the maître d’ snuck over and whispered gravely in the ear of Tulkinghorn’s host. It seems the management had received a complaint about Mrs Tulkinghorn “doing business” in the dining room. One would never like to cast aspersions, but sitting right behind Mrs Tulkinghorn, with a perfect view of her activities, was none other than wallpaper fetishist and former Lord Chancellor, Derry Irvine.

Mrs Tulkinghorn could not help but notice the glares of contempt from Dezza and his companion as Mrs Tulkinghorn skulked out of the dining room.