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Ten ways to reveal your lover: coming out the easy way

I have worked at large national and regional firms. I don't shout about my sexuality but I don't hide it either. My colleagues have never shown any signs of homophobia and I actually think that lawyers are very accepting and intelligent about the subject. I work in corporate finance and in my experience accountants and bankers find the subject much more awkward if it arises in social situations - often embarrassingly so. Again, I generally wouldn't announce the fact but if someone asks me over a pint who I've been on holiday with, or whether I'm married, then I'm not going to lie to them. I wouldn't lie to clients either, but I am probably more careful, perhaps more than I should be. If I'm asked if I have a wife or girlfriend, I might just say "no" if I think revealing to them that I actually have a long-term boyfriend might cause embarrassment or awkwardness on their part. You know who you feel comfortable telling and who you don't. If it is a client that I am particularly close to, because I've advised them on a number of deals and built up a good rapport with them, then I might tell them, but honestly, it's never really been a major issue. Perhaps I'm lucky, but honestly I think it's because I am straight-acting and looking and because I am so comfortable with my sexuality, I don't feel the need to make an issue about it to other people. In my experience, if you care about your job and concentrate on providing sensible and pragmatic advice, then clients and colleagues will judge you on your ability as a lawyer, not on your sexuality. I am very grateful to those who have fought hard over the years for gay rights, and we are lucky in the UK to have these enshrined in law. The only battle I've experienced is the (thankfully few) ignorant people that I've met during my career so far. Work with them, laugh with them, educate them and if you do your job and do it well, then they soon realise that they were wrong.

4-Jan-2010

5:41 pm