Much satisfaction at the Tulkinghorn residence that The Lawyer Awards made it into Private Eye. Having procured a copy of The Lawyer's 'Rewarding Excellence' booklet from the recent awards night, it then proceeds to rip it apart. "We've made the big time," croaked Tulkinghorn to his fragrant lady wife. But pity poor Sir Sydney Kentridge, recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award. Years of battling for justice in South Africa for Mandela and Biko's family and he gets reduced to the status of Bloke Who Defended Derry in the sex discrimination case over the appointment of Garry Hart, due to go to the House of Lords. Still, Tulkinghorn is sure that all Private Eye jobs go out to competitive tender in an utterly fair process that does not involve personal relationships, and that any sex discrimination cases are automatically justified.