Message in a bottle

The new economy seems to have passed Tulkinghorn by. Just as he and Mrs Tulkinghorn were learning to send electronic messages, he is now told that, as a profit-making venture, this new technology has had its day. It therefore comes as no surprise, Tulkinghorn supposes, that e-commerce firm McNeive has supplemented its business of offering legal services to internet companies with what they must really need: a good drink. A clever diversification, in Tulkinghorn's eyes.
McNeive now sends its clients the wittily titled 'economic mirAcLE' (pronounced mirac-ale). In place of the economic miracle such companies need, McNeive is offering them a brew which, taken in large enough quantities, either convinces them that the economic miracle has indeed happened, or dulls the impact of the technology recession. In either case, this must make them more willing to pay McNeive's fees. As the deals and the champagne flow has dried up in the technology sector, Tulkinghorn recommends that other technology media and telecoms practices fill their days inventing similar drinks for their clients. Perhaps a brand of real ale called 'Not Bitter' would go down well among those banks and private equity houses that put their money into the dotcoms last year.