Lords join A-listers' catty, snappy wars

After a seven-year fight, OK! magazine has beaten rival Hello! in the legal equivalent of a sudden-death penalty shootout. See story.

And the bitter atmosphere surrounding the Douglases' wedding photo fight has even spread to the normally placid Lords, with Lord Hoffmann and Lord Walker of Gestingthorpe at loggerheads.

Walker worded his dissent carefully and politely, so we'll translate it for you now.

Walker: "In respectful disagreement with Lord Hoffmann, I think it would go some way to creating an unorthodox and exorbitant form of intellectual property."

TRANSLATION: "Lenny, you're out of line. If this goes through we're all screwed."

Walker: "My Lords, my respectful dissent from the views of the majority arises not from any distaste for the modern celebrity world, but from my perception - shared, no doubt, by all of us - of the need for consistent and rational development of the law of confidentiality."

TRANSLATION: "Hey guys, I like knowing what Charlotte Church is up to as much as the next guy, but we need to sort out this confidentiality thing."

Walker: "I would therefore dismiss all three appeals."

TRANSLATION: "Home-time. Anyone fancy a pint? Not you Hoffmann."

Who said wedding pictures are boring?