Lactating girlfriends, seven foot Rooneys and Lovells systems crash

Well, it finally happened - Wayne Rooney played for England in the World Cup. Now we can get back to the important things, like telling tales of the lawyers and their friends who helped prop up bars across the city.

Tulkinghorn hears of dramas from the Lovells project finance party, where the sound system failed mid-way through the first half. Never fear, “Tony the AV guy” was on hand to leap into action with spare batteries and instantly became everyone’s hero.

There was nearly a ruckus though, with the steel drum band firmly backing Trinidad & Tobago, and more than a few dirty looks going their way as they threatened to ruin the party with a goal.

But as the Scot and the Irishman (who work for the Commonwealth Bank of Australia!) said: “London’s a much nicer to city to live in while England are still in the World Cup.”

Over at Bircham Dyson Bell, a couple of 7ft Becks and Rooney look-alikes of Madame Tussauds ilk greeted guests as they arrived. A 7ft Rooney! Can you imagine it!

Kendall Freeman head of commercial litigation Kevin Perry didn’t have the best of nights at The Lawyer’s very own party at Annexo. He had to leave for an (apparently) critical meeting at Lovells. As they say, the show must go on.

There is another tale of woe Tulkinghorn feels he needs to be share. It’s the tale of Herbert Smith business development manager Alex Charlwood. Alex was offered a ticket and a luxury private jet flight out to Germany to watch England’s first game against Paraguay last week. Unfortunately for Alex, game day was also his heavily pregnant girlfriend’s birthday.

Tulkinghorn can’t help but wonder if he would have done the same as Alex and declined the ticket. Mrs Tulkinghorn thinks he’d have been far more likely to have taken the approach of Kermit from Black Grape, who famously expressed in ‘England’s Irie’, the greatest footie song of all time: “My wife's lactating and I'm spectating. It's a football thing”