Kop swap

The legal profession is known for being a bastion of integrity and loyalty in what is too often a Machiavellian world. So given that this is the milieu into which Tulkinghorn’s scribes have been socialised, they were horrified to discover that one Manchester lawyer, Graham Small of Lewis Hymanson Small, is as happy to switch his core alliegances as Henry VIII was his spouses.

Small, an Everton season-ticket holder, was recently approached by Jan Molby’s better half and asked to participate in a Liverpool Legends football tournament alongside such putative enemies as the aforementioned Molby, John Barnes, Michael Thomas and Mark Wright.

Rather than uttering cries of disgust, picking up his quill and penning a diatribe of insults in response, Small revealed his true colours – red, not blue – and came on board.

“It was a moment of weakness,” Small pleaded in his defence, alongside something about it all being for the kids; £68,000 was raised for the Claire House Children’s Hospice.