Tulkinghorn is very envious of comedians. Just how do they remember all those jokes? For the past six months Tulkinghorn has been living off one single gag: “What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Flop.” Fortunately, for those who work closely with Tulkinghorn and have already heard it six times, he now has a new ancient joke thanks to Kimbles associate Dino Wilkinson. Enjoy.
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper: “I'll have a trainee solicitor monkey please.”
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage full of monkeys and took one out. He fitted a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying: “That'll be £10,000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said: “That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did it cost so much?” The shopkeeper answered: “Ah, that monkey can do legal research and draft documents very fast with no mistakes; well worth the money.”
The tourist looked at the monkeys in another cage. “They're even more expensive. £30,000. What do they do?”
“Oh, they're fee-earner monkeys,” replied the shopkeeper. “They can answer all legal questions, draft complicated documents from scratch, mark up agreements, write letters and bill clients. All the difficult, really useful stuff.”
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey all by itself in a cage of its own, eating a banana. The price tag around its neck read £200,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper: “That one costs more than all the others put together. What on earth does it do?”
The shopkeeper replied: “Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything yet, but it says it's a partner.”