Computer whizz

In an exact reverse of the fate of global markets, alcohol consumption at this year’s Mipim this year rocketed, fuelling one or two episodes of depravity.

Now, Tulkinghorn is far from one to shun depravity, but one story whispered into his scribe’s ear made him glow red with both embarrassment and delight.

An Englishman and a Scotsman were having a late night drink (or seven) in networking hub the Martinez – so the story goes. The Scotsman insulted the English gentleman and his country folk, then headed off in a stupor, leaving behind his laptop bag. Whoops.

The Englishman was so incensed by this national snub that he reportedly unzipped his fly and emptied the reprocessed contents of the evening’s liquid consumption into the Scotsman’s laptop bag.

He then proceededto drag it along the outside terrace, leaving a trail of golden kidney juice, Tulkinghorn is told by an eyewitness. Tulkinghorn trusts that, given the lack of work done at this particular jamboree, there was nothing of any commercial value stored on that computer.