Animal crackers

Tulkinghorn recently brought news of a surprising recruitment campaign by regional firm DWF, which sought to portray itself to trainees as ‘down with the kids’ by suggesting links between it and the ‘rave’ scene. (Following extensive research, Tulkinghorn can report that this was a 1990s phenomenon involving tea dances to the music of gramophone records, often accompanied by the possession of ‘glow sticks’ and a drug called 3, 4- methylenedioxy-N-methamphetamine, often referred to as ecstasy.)

Tulkinghorn was equally surprised this week, however, to stumble across the online branding at Addleshaw Goddard, which seeks to represent the firm as some sort of cross between Medecins Sans Frontières, an aromatherapy session and a life-affirming David Attenborough documentary.

As such, the website features a series of cutesy images of the natural world backed by words chosen to reflect the firm’s values.

First comes a picture of a pretty pink flower, with a busy bumble bee bumbling busily towards the stamen beneath the word ‘maximising’. Next there is a zebra, the word ‘aligning’ drifting slowly across its brow. Third, there is a wise and solemn panther, the word ‘evaluating’ written by its temple. (Panthers are notorious for their evaluations, Tulkinhorn understands.) And last of all comes Tulkinghorn’s favourite: a picture of some affectionate-looking penguins scampering peacefully across some grass under the word ‘caring’.

What famously hard-nosed managing partner Mark ‘The Axeman’ Jones makes of the new image is sadly as yet unrecorded.