It’s summer so it must be Big Brother. Sadly, this year it’s even more inescapable than ever, with countless hugely annoying contestants and wall-to-wall coverage 24 hours a day, probably until Christmas. Mrs Tulkinghorn is in reality TV heaven. Talking of annoying contestants, none has been more unpopular than this year’s first evictee, Sezer. The wannabe ladies man scored the highest-ever proportion of telephone votes begging to boot him out. Apparently. But Tulkinghorn can reveal that this was all a cunning plan, for “Sezer” is really none other than T-Mobile head of legal James Blendis, secretly sent into the house to beef up sales figures for his company by being Big Bro‘s most loathsome contestant ever. Who has the last laugh now, Davina?