Bird brained

Back in the good old days before endless PR exercises, networking jollies and client entertainment, Tulkinghorn recalls how he would go hunting and falconing with his favourite clients in the country for the pure love of the chase and the bringing back to London of dozens of freshly slain hares, if the winds were good.

Alas, Tulkinghorn has not taken any clients to such tests of men’s manhood since time immemorial, as everyone has gone soft and mad with political correctness on him.

Take Southampton firm Warner Goodman. In a feeble attempt to endear itself to clients, it sent coachloads of them to the Hawk Conservancy Trust in Hampshire to play with birds, hold them, talk about them, stroke them, admire them and watch them fly.

It makes Tulkinghorn sick that those magnificent birds were wasted and not a single hare, heck, not even a measly rabbit, was slain at the hyper-sanitised event. Disgusting, I tell you.