Carry on practising

Olswang trumpeted its first press release of the New Year with a rousing “Olswang news for 2005 has begun”.

The scribes could barely contain themselves. Upon opening the document it was discovered that those cheeky hipsters were getting down and dirty on the management buyout of a gym, which offers “air-guitar aerobics”, the “shag workout” and “boob aerobics”. Oo-er missus, how terribly risqué.

A word or two of advice: next time, do a decent deal and you might even make the City pages.