Is gay marriage the Marriage Foundation's blind spot?
Family judge Sir Paul Coleridge is firing on all cylinders with the imminent launch of the Marriage Foundation and has launched a huge media offensive with interviews and commentary coming thick and fast.
Personally I am glad to see that his views seem to fit with my own that family lawyers are probably the only lawyers who would love to live in a society in which they were entirely redundant, for what a utopia it would be.
However, I am concerned to see that the Marriage Foundation has missed the opportunity to support gay marriage: in its frequently asked questions section it comment as follows:
“Question: Is the MF engaged in the current debate around the definition of marriage?
“Answer: No. It is not what we are about. The fundamental concern which underlies and so drives the establishment of the Marriage Foundation is in relation to family breakdown and its destructive effects on the lives of children. One of our primary aims is to reduce the number of children caught up in the family justice system (currently 3.8 million) and the misery which they experience as a result. For obvious reasons those children are almost entirely located within heterosexual partnerships. We believe that championing the case for marriage ’as the gold standard’ is the best way of ameliorating this problem. That is, in itself, a huge task and, as a fledgling organisation, we do not have the resources to engage in any other or different campaigns. Accordingly we have nothing we want to say in the current debate.”
I find it difficult to reconcile the statement that “it is not what we are about” with their stated aims and objectives: “The overall purpose of the Marriage Foundation is to be a national champion (advocate) for marriage, strengthening the institution for the benefit of children, adults and society as a whole.”
I struggle to see how this is incompatible with discussing gay marriage, or even championing it. Surely a new constituency of marriage enthusiasts is exactly what the Marriage Foundation wants to see?
Logically it must be accepted that more children live with heterosexual parents than with homosexual parents, but I struggle to see how the consequences of family breakdown are any less devastating for these children than for any others. Why should they be excluded from the Marriage Foundation’s concerns?
The foundation goes on to say: “We can have healthier relationships that are less likely to break down. Most people still aspire to marriage, but many slide into relationships that prove unstable, lack the skills for healthy relationships and don’t access help. As if that weren’t challenging enough, the benefits of publicly recognised intentional acts of commitment are too readily dismissed as mere ‘pieces of paper’.
“Private and public attitudes need to change; reaffirming marriage as the ’gold standard’ for couple relationships is an essential first step.”
It seems odd to recognise that “most people still aspire to marriage” (including presumably the homosexual couples who actively campaign to be allowed to legally marry) and to want to promote marriage as the “gold standard” and then not to support those who want equal access to that gold standard of relationship.
I completely accept that as a fledgling organisation the Marriage Foundation’s resources are limited, but surely a statement of support and some links to other groups that are campaigning on the subject would not be particularly resource intensive?
I very much hope that this lack of support for gay marriage is something the Marriage Foundation will rethink and that they will open their eyes to the benefits of marriage really being a gold standard for all, regardless of sexual preference.
Zoe Saunders is a family barrister at St John’s Chambers
View results 10 per page | 20 per page
Readers' comments (17)
F Young | 2-May-2012 10:49 am
Souns to me like the Marriage Foundation has a very traditional view of marriage. If they spoke out, it probably would be to oppose it. If they keep silent on the issue of same-sex marriage, that might be the best we can hope for.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Anonymous | 2-May-2012 10:54 am
Why should they engage in what the definition of marriage is if they have set out their stall to engage with 'marriage-whatever marriage is held to be'?
I think that their position is more to do with avoiding controversy that may harm their perception among the wider public.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Edward | 2-May-2012 12:26 pm
An organization, especially a nascent one, that does not include gay marriage in any discussion of marriage is out of date with the times. Six states allow gay marriage along with the District of Columbia. Countries as divergent as Canada, Argentina and Spain all have gay marriage. When the Marriage Foundation states, "We can have healthier relationships that are less likely to break down", then I propose that gay marriage is at the pulse of that goal.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Francis Davey | 3-May-2012 7:53 am
I suspect most criminal defence lawyers would like to see themselves redundant too. I'm sympathetic to the idea of eliminating copyright and that's my specialist field, so you may not be alone.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Anonymous | 3-May-2012 8:56 am
I'm sorry but even as a flippant opener, the suggestion that family lawyers are probably the only lawyers that would love to live in a society in which they were entirely redundant is holier than thou nonsense. I'm pretty sure a lot of criminal practitioners would feel better off without crime and the social welfare lawyers working for little remuneration in housing, debt, benefits, deportation and asylum are hardly flag wavers for the social ills they have committed their careers to combatting. Poor show.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Anonymous | 3-May-2012 10:14 am
Zoe Saunders seems to be arguing for mission creep. How many other organisations should make a statement of support for her pet cause? Childline? The NSPCC? Maybe even the RSPCA?
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Anonymous | 3-May-2012 12:48 pm
"How many other organisations should make a statement of support for her pet cause? Childline? The NSPCC? Maybe even the RSPCA?"
In my view, it is wholly unacceptable that the NSPCC have failed openly to support gay marriage, which is self-evidently in the best interests of children. Silence on the matter is no longer good enough. A failure actively to support and promote gay marriage constitutes a thought crime and should be punishable by law.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Anonymous | 3-May-2012 2:36 pm
"Gay marriage...is self-evidently in the best interests of children"
Why? You may (or may not) be right, but there is nothing 'self-evident' about it. Many might say that it is in the best interests of children to have both a mother and a father.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Anonymous | 3-May-2012 3:29 pm
One gets sick of this discourse on gay marriage. I live in Australia and I am sick of fringe groups demanding what the majority of Australians can have in their Marriage Act. The vast majority of Australians want marriage to stay what it is.
Gays and lesbians have no right to gay marriage because marriage does not apply to them.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment
Anonymous | 3-May-2012 3:41 pm
For anyone married with children they will know that the most important thing for childrens' upbringing is stability. In most cases that means a stable family with both parents. The Marriage Foundation appears to have this aim as its core principle.
The criticism from Zoe Saunders is misplaced and unjustified. The article seems to be saying that the Foundation should amend its core principle to support and focus on gay marriage. The Foundation does not give any definition of marriage and is not therefore favouring one form of marriage over another. The writer appears to have totally missed the point.
Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment