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He will have to make do instead with the Lawyers World Cup in Alicante, also known as the Mundiavocat 2008. At least the English lawyers have a chance of winning it, represented by the boys from London Lawyers FC, the reigning European champions.
Tulkinghorn managed to get an advance copy of the team list from the captain, Matt Smith of Deutsche Bank, but Smith would not reveal the first team line-up ahead of the competition. Tulkinghorn understands the choice is between a traditional 4-4-2 and a slightly more defensive 4-5-1. Smith is confident that a good time will be had by all at the tournament, which starts on 30 May and lasts a week.
"It's funny how the lawyers' football teams conform to the national stereotypes," he adds. "The Italians have the play-acting, the Dutch team is very technical and the German team is hard-working."
Tulkinghorn notes there is one key lawyer missed off the list: Ashurst senior partner Roger Finbow is chairman and a sort of Roman Abramovich figure for the team.