Doctor of war

Tulkinghorn was astonished to learn from Donoghue Snail, his opposite number on Lawyer 2B – The Lawyer's student offering – that disgraced Ireland football captain Roy Keane has just been awarded an honorary doctorate in law. With absolutely impeccable timing, University College Cork has conferred the degree in recognition of Keane's services to football over the years. Dr Keane's relationship with the law is well documented, beginning with his first arrest in 1992, to the night he spent in the clink after an alleged assault on a woman in a Manchester bar in 1999. Given the fact that the Manchester United player has just returned from the World Cup in a huff, following an angry row with the Ireland manager Mick McCarthy and potentially jeopardising the country's chances of success, Tulkinghorn is unsure how happily the legal community will welcome their newest member. But lawyers may do well to learn a few tricks from the fiery footballer. After all, haven't his fearsome negotiating skills earned him a salary of more than £90,000 a week?