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The award for the most gruesome story of the week goes to a general counsel who, perhaps not surprisingly, preferred to remain anonymous.
Apparently, during a recent meeting at the British Board of Film Censors, hardcore pornography was on the agenda. Even porn needs classifying and, like most things these days, the hunt was on for a common, EU-wide standard.
First up was the horrific issue of paedophilia. The problem here, it transpired, was that the differing age of consent laws across Europe made it impossible to reach agreement.
The debate was put on hold and the meeting moved on to another topic - bestiality. What should the certification policy be towards films portraying the charming act of people having sex with Rover? Again the vote was split, but the conclusion was eventually reached to pass films where the animal appeared to be having a good time.
According to Tulkinghorn's source, that meant the film with the cow was okay, but the chicken fanciers were consigned to the cutting room floor.