Destiny's child

Vanity can get the better of anybody, but it seems that The Lawyer's former celebrity columnist and managing partner of Osborne Clarke Leslie Perrin is suffering a bigger bout than most.

Now, if your memories can stretch back as far as March, you will be able to remember Tulkinghorn revealing that nestling on the floor of Perrin's Volvo was his choice of in-car listening – “The One-Minute Manager: A Guide To Building A High-Performance Team”.

The reporting of such a sinister transformation from a once radical belletrist clearly hit Perrin hard, and three months down the line he is still trying to regain his composure.

Perrin has contacted Tulkinghorn in a last-ditch attempt to restore his iconic status. Alas, Tulkinghorn fears that things have gone from bad to worse, as the only evidence that Perrin can offer of a return to form is the fact that he is now the proud owner of the latest album by Texas-based girl band Destiny's Child.

So this puts paid to the rumours that Perrin is a dictator: when he walks around the office singing “Say my name, say my name”, he is not demanding serf-like obedience from his lawyers, he is actually singing Destiny's Child's hit single Say My Name. Bills, Bills, Bills next, surely?