Burger & Lobster

I’m sure you’ve heard of it. If you haven’t, where have you been?

It’s bang on trend, the trend being to serve something really simple and do it very well. If you want chicken, you can go to Chickenshop. If you want pork ramen you go to Tonkotsu. If you want burgers you can go to MeatLiquor. And if you want lobster, you can come here.

If you’ve read much about this, you will know about the queues. We went at 5.30pm. I could pretend it was a really late lunch, but in reality it was the early bird special. Ignoring the pitying looks from the greeters, as they worked out whether or not to let me in (I’m in my fifth decade- shocker) I brazened it out. And I’m afraid I don’t do queuing, so I’m happy to do the pensioner walk of shame.

It’s really simple. Burgers and lobsters - both £20 - the burgers come any way you like, with cheese and/or bacon, chips and a side salad. The chips are those skinny ones and they have Heinz tomato ketchup and Hellmann’s mayonnaise on the table. They also have, as indeed they should, Sarson’s malt vinegar.

I suppose there are some people who don’t like lobster or who may have a shellfish allergy and who, as a selfless act, might accompany their friend/partner for this lobsterfest. My partner chose the burger. Well, someone has to. It was pronounced excellent. As it should for £20.

There it is. The lobster was juicy, fresh and the mayonnaise delicate. There was a really good amount of lobster in this. The bread was perfect. It wasn’t actually a roll, as such – it was what appeared to be two thick slices of buttery, toasted challah bread. Some might say that to use the traditional Jewish loaf with lobster is an abomination. All I would say to them is that they haven’t tried it with bacon.

And the lobsters come in different sizes for different prices, going up in increments of £10. And the larger ones come with unlimited fries. And the wine list is good. As are the cocktails.

There are no starters and there are simple desserts – on my visit there was a cheesecake and a chocolate mousse with crunchy caramel bits. I fancied that but, frankly, I just couldn’t. Not even me.

It isn’t the sort of place I would spend a long evening – you can’t really spend ages on the food or at least I can’t. And the music would drive me up the wall.

It’s fun. It’s noisy. It’s good value. Don’t think too much about it. Just go.

Best for: straight after work with colleagues for an easy night out.

Worst for: anything formal and requiring serious conversation. You won’t hear yourself.

Marks: 8/10