Cake or biscuit? The Scottish court decides

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  • Will the court now please turn its attention to deep-fried Mars bars? An anxious nation awaits.

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  • The Blessed Mortimer, of course, said it all:
    ‘What did you say first to Jim? As you drew your easel alongside?’

    ‘Don’t remember.’

    ‘Don’t you?’

    ‘I think we was speaking about the Stones.’

    ‘What “stones” are these?’ The judge’s ignorance of the life around him seemed to be causing him some sort of wild panic. Remember this was 1965, and I was in a similar state of confusion until Nick, whispering from behind me, gave me the clue.

    ‘The Rolling Stones, my Lord.’ The information meant nothing to him.

    ’ I’m afraid a great deal of this case seems to be taking place in a foreign tongue, Mr Rumpole.’

    ‘Jazz musicians, as I understand it, my Lord, of some notoriety.’

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