All at sea

But picture the scene. It’s the DLA Piper summer global partners’ conference. It’s the largest firm in the world. And having scoured Europe, it simply could not find any hotel big enough to house the three million (or however many it is now) DLA Piper partners that are expected to show up. So what’s the solution? Simple. This year, DLA Piper has hired the mother of all cruise liners to play host to its summer shindig. The boat, the Royal Caribbean cruise liner The Navigator of the Sea, will be moored off the coast of Barcelona. There’ll be wine tasting, rock climbing and miniature golf onboard to stop the partners getting cabin fever.

The agenda includes a raft (no pun intended) of guest speakers, CSR programmes and a spot of smooching with clients. “All pretty dry,” says one DLA Piper insider hopefully. Let’s hope they don’t go overboard with the entertainment.

Word is DLA Piper will assign cabins by drawing lots. But can anyone see Big Nige (or for that matter Frank Burch or Lee Miller) settling for a windowless indoor cupboard of a cabin?